My Secret Place - May 2010

By Anna Gunn, as told to Devon Jackson

The arroyos around my parents’ house in Tesuque—that’s my secret place. My parents moved there when I was 13 or 14. They got me a horse, and there was a stable out there, at what used to be Rancho Encantado. It was owned by the Egan family.

Ronnie, the wrangler there, would take me out riding. She took me to these amazing trails and arroyos. It was like having somebody introduce you to a secret world. Once in a while my mom would join me for a ride, but I’d ride out there solo most of the time. I liked the solitude, the peace and quiet. I liked being with the beautiful animal. The trail led from the barn at the stable, through the arroyos, and then right up to our house.

You get this extraordinary view from up there—a wraparound view of everything. There’s something about the arroyos, too. It’s very comforting. It’s soothing. Just my tiny part in the world. You’re surrounded by trees and the forest and the walls of the arroyos and the mesas. You’re wrapped up in nature. I also loved that feeling of going around the bend in an arroyo, where you weren’t sure what was just ahead.

I remember distinctly the smell of the piñon trees. The smell was different at different times of the year. If you were riding out there in the summertime and there’d just been this big rain, there was this unmistakable clean smell. It was the piñon, and it just smelled sharper and richer back then.
And the teen years can be confusing and overwhelming. So there was a sense of peace and solitude—and that allowed me to just drink in the place. For lack of a better word, it was rejuvenating. This was a place to let go of everything. It did a lot for my insides.

I usually did it alone. Most of my friends lived in town and not many of them rode. So it was an independent pursuit. I had a horse for a few years, till I left for college at Northwestern. I’ve been back, but the stables aren’t there anymore. And there are no more horses. So it’s different. I’ve taken my older daughter for walks out there, and gone out there with my mom, who’s a big hiker.

There are a few spots in Los Angeles, where I live now, that give me the same feeling I had in those arroyos. Those are fun.

But nothing’s as special as the arroyos near my parents’ house.

Anna Gunn stars as Skyler White in Breaking Bad, AMC’s Emmy Award–winning TV series set in Albuquerque. She also starred in HBO’s Deadwood and ABC’s The Practice.