One Of Our 50 Is Missing - May 2009

Cartoons of the Month After more than two decades, thousands of our readers have shared their experiences of lost New Mexico in the "One of Our 50 is Missing" humor column, compiled by managing editor Walter K. Lopez. Tell us your experiences at fifty@nmmagazine.com or on our message board.

WHAT’S UP, DOC? Albuquerque native Dr. Roxanne Gonzales, now of Kansas City, Missouri, says that her son’s cross-country drive to New Mexico proved misguided—despite his best efforts.

“My son was moving from Montpelier, Vermont, to Las Cruces for work, and he was using a new GPS [Global Positioning System] to ensure the trip would be smooth,” Gonzales says. “He sent me a text message today, saying, ‘Don’t quite know where the GPS is sending us.’”

The GPS message read: “right onto i-40, w to albyquorque.” “I’m a native of New Mexico, born in Albuquerque,” says Gonzales, “and know that, for a child, the city’s name can be difficult. But to be fair, a friend did suggest that perhaps the GPS company was a Looney Tunes fan. Ah, but does it announce in a Bugs Bunny voice: ‘Eh, I knew I shoulda taken a left toin at Albyquoique’?”

OUT FOR BLOOD: Karen Siemsen, of Martinez, California, received a bloodcurdling response when exchanging phone calls with a West Coast blood bank.

Siemsen, who splits her time between California and New Mexico, says she received a call from an American Red Cross Blood Bank in California asking for a donation.

“I responded that I was in New Mexico at the time and wouldn’t be able to make an appointment,” says Siemsen, “and I was told I was on a hold list for a year.”

When Siemsen asked why she was put on hold for so long, the blood-bank rep said, “Because you’re in Mexico.”

DOUBLE WHAMMY: Susan Higbie returned home to Grosse Pointe, Michigan, after “17 wonderful years in New Mexico,” but not without some unexpected experiences.

Higbie says that, while she was shopping at a supermarket in Grosse Pointe, a clerk asked for her driver’s license to verify her credit-card identity. After reading the address on Higbie’s license, the clerk smiled, handed the card and license back to her, and asked, “How does it feel to be back in this country?”

Later, when Higbie visited her local Department of Motor Vehicles, she encountered Episode II. “When I went to the DMV for my new driver’s license and finally made my way to the desk, I asked if I would have to take a written test,” Higbie says.

The clerk looked at Higbie’s license. “No, all we need is your passport.”

DISMAL STATE OF AFFAIRS: When Jay Ven Eman, of Albuquerque, attempted to register for the “New
Dimensions in Knowledge Organization Systems” conference in Washington, D.C., little did he realize he was entering another dimension.

Ven Eman says that the conference was conducted by an organization of senior managers from the federal government who manage scientific and technical information. “While entering my address on their website, I discovered that the state “pick-list” form included the provinces of Canada and all the states, with the exception of New Mexico,” he says. “Since the conference is being hosted by the World Bank at their headquarters in Washington, D.C., they probably weren’t expecting anyone coming to this meeting from such a faraway ‘nation’ as ours.”